Hi there!
My name is Julian and boy, have I overthought this website a ton. And while overthinking things is something I excel at, it is not the only thing by a long shot.
See, when I graduated from Emory University--a respected institution with top-tier programs in lucrative fields like business and medicine--with a BA in Playwriting, I moved to L.A. and got pretty good at writing articles for Maxim Magazine. For instance, there's this one where I spent a night in Vegas with the guys from Pawn Stars and -whoops!- got a tattoo. Or this one where I went on a shopping spree with Snoop Dogg and -oop!- got held at knifepoint by his bodyguard. I also interviewed a slew of celebs such as Heather Graham, Michael Bay, Kate Upton, and Kevin Smith, none of whom pointed a knife at my face or got tattoos with me (yet).
After surviving Maxim, I did what any decent person does when they leave a men's magazine: repented by writing for a women's magazine! As a contributor to Women's Health, I shared my guys' perspective on sex and dating. That's right! I was that guy! Friends were scandalized by the idea that Julian could be speaking to all women on behalf of all men, and to be frank: same! Despite the insanity and somewhat problematicity of the premise, I did my absolute best to provide respectful, useful, honest insight and am especially proud of How Guys Feel About Vibrators and What He Wants You To Do (And Say) When He Can't Get It Up. Really! Are they my journalistic or comedic masterworks? I sure hope not. But at least a few people reached out to say they were helpful resources when encountering uncomfortable conversations and I think that's pretty cool.
At the same time (as this was the beginning of my life as a freelancer), I began writing for a niche art publication (another excellent way to repent for spending a notable portion of your early 20s working on a literal list of talented women ranked mainly by physical attractiveness). Brut Force was an independent outlet focused on the Outsider Art community--a wide and imperfect classification of visual art created outside of the mainstream art world.
Talking to so many artists who forged success while being unable to notice or care about institutions was an empowering experience every time, but my favorite was this profile of self-taught Scottish painter Jack Vettriano in the wake of an accident that shattered the shoulder of his painting arm. He literally gave the interview from his hospital bed, but there is not a gosh darn (certainly not the words he would use) reason to feel sorry for him. If you're ever seeking the creative fortitude to push forward and ignore the meddlesome thoughts of others, give it a read.
"But Julian!" you must be yelling at your screen by now. "Don't you like, do comedy stuff also?" I sure do and I'm getting to that part. Calm down. Don't yell.
Jeez. We're going chronologically here.
Settled? Good. Concurrent with my time writing for whatever publications I could convince to give me money for words, I was also writing, performing, and otherwise extravasating comedy however I could. This resulted variously in: a podcast all about words (extravasate is a fancy word for ooze, by the way); a sketch duo with my good friend and hilarious person, Chris Milliken; and various prose humor pieces, my favorite of which has to be "The About Us Page of Every Digital Media Agency," published by McSweeney's.
"But Julian! These are the things you've done. What are you up to now?" First of all, what did I say about interrupting?! Second of all, thanks for asking and I can't wait to tell you!
These days, I'm focused on original writing projects, and performing stand up and makin' videos. Check out Hot. Mean. Smart. Fancy., the stand up album I put out last year. It's a quick 30 minutes! If you wanna see what I look like while performing stand up (in front of a very strong spotlight), check it out here! If sketch is more your taste, take a gander at this character triptych (directed and produced by Matt Shapiro) based on my strong hunch that Trader Joe's is the last pure bastion of joy left in the world here, here, aaand here. If you're interested in my scripted work, I welcome you to read my half hour comedic samples, Crazy Talk and World Famous Ronnie Cokinos, the latter of which debuted as a live read at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater.
Anyway, to get back to my original point, those are all examples of things I do almost as well as overthinking! If you'd like to book, hire, or coerce me to do any of the above, please don't hesitate to reach me at julianmstern@gmail.com (Of course, if you're coercing me, please be more interesting. Snatch me off the street or catfish me or something.)
If you're just here to peruse, that's great too! I hope to chat with you or see you at a show soon (A great way to find out about those is to follow me on instagram @julianmstern or sign up for my newsletter, The Sternal Journal. They're never more than twice a month and I always include a useful or entertaining tidbit). Until then, have many great days!
Your friend,
Julian
My name is Julian and boy, have I overthought this website a ton. And while overthinking things is something I excel at, it is not the only thing by a long shot.
See, when I graduated from Emory University--a respected institution with top-tier programs in lucrative fields like business and medicine--with a BA in Playwriting, I moved to L.A. and got pretty good at writing articles for Maxim Magazine. For instance, there's this one where I spent a night in Vegas with the guys from Pawn Stars and -whoops!- got a tattoo. Or this one where I went on a shopping spree with Snoop Dogg and -oop!- got held at knifepoint by his bodyguard. I also interviewed a slew of celebs such as Heather Graham, Michael Bay, Kate Upton, and Kevin Smith, none of whom pointed a knife at my face or got tattoos with me (yet).
After surviving Maxim, I did what any decent person does when they leave a men's magazine: repented by writing for a women's magazine! As a contributor to Women's Health, I shared my guys' perspective on sex and dating. That's right! I was that guy! Friends were scandalized by the idea that Julian could be speaking to all women on behalf of all men, and to be frank: same! Despite the insanity and somewhat problematicity of the premise, I did my absolute best to provide respectful, useful, honest insight and am especially proud of How Guys Feel About Vibrators and What He Wants You To Do (And Say) When He Can't Get It Up. Really! Are they my journalistic or comedic masterworks? I sure hope not. But at least a few people reached out to say they were helpful resources when encountering uncomfortable conversations and I think that's pretty cool.
At the same time (as this was the beginning of my life as a freelancer), I began writing for a niche art publication (another excellent way to repent for spending a notable portion of your early 20s working on a literal list of talented women ranked mainly by physical attractiveness). Brut Force was an independent outlet focused on the Outsider Art community--a wide and imperfect classification of visual art created outside of the mainstream art world.
Talking to so many artists who forged success while being unable to notice or care about institutions was an empowering experience every time, but my favorite was this profile of self-taught Scottish painter Jack Vettriano in the wake of an accident that shattered the shoulder of his painting arm. He literally gave the interview from his hospital bed, but there is not a gosh darn (certainly not the words he would use) reason to feel sorry for him. If you're ever seeking the creative fortitude to push forward and ignore the meddlesome thoughts of others, give it a read.
"But Julian!" you must be yelling at your screen by now. "Don't you like, do comedy stuff also?" I sure do and I'm getting to that part. Calm down. Don't yell.
Jeez. We're going chronologically here.
Settled? Good. Concurrent with my time writing for whatever publications I could convince to give me money for words, I was also writing, performing, and otherwise extravasating comedy however I could. This resulted variously in: a podcast all about words (extravasate is a fancy word for ooze, by the way); a sketch duo with my good friend and hilarious person, Chris Milliken; and various prose humor pieces, my favorite of which has to be "The About Us Page of Every Digital Media Agency," published by McSweeney's.
"But Julian! These are the things you've done. What are you up to now?" First of all, what did I say about interrupting?! Second of all, thanks for asking and I can't wait to tell you!
These days, I'm focused on original writing projects, and performing stand up and makin' videos. Check out Hot. Mean. Smart. Fancy., the stand up album I put out last year. It's a quick 30 minutes! If you wanna see what I look like while performing stand up (in front of a very strong spotlight), check it out here! If sketch is more your taste, take a gander at this character triptych (directed and produced by Matt Shapiro) based on my strong hunch that Trader Joe's is the last pure bastion of joy left in the world here, here, aaand here. If you're interested in my scripted work, I welcome you to read my half hour comedic samples, Crazy Talk and World Famous Ronnie Cokinos, the latter of which debuted as a live read at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater.
Anyway, to get back to my original point, those are all examples of things I do almost as well as overthinking! If you'd like to book, hire, or coerce me to do any of the above, please don't hesitate to reach me at julianmstern@gmail.com (Of course, if you're coercing me, please be more interesting. Snatch me off the street or catfish me or something.)
If you're just here to peruse, that's great too! I hope to chat with you or see you at a show soon (A great way to find out about those is to follow me on instagram @julianmstern or sign up for my newsletter, The Sternal Journal. They're never more than twice a month and I always include a useful or entertaining tidbit). Until then, have many great days!
Your friend,
Julian